diff --git a/actions/confirmaddress.php b/actions/confirmaddress.php
index 1e2d3a92d6..806851001e 100644
--- a/actions/confirmaddress.php
+++ b/actions/confirmaddress.php
@@ -108,13 +108,8 @@ class ConfirmaddressAction extends Action
                 $cur->smsemail = $carrier->toEmailAddress($cur->sms);
             }
 
-            $result = $cur->updateWithKeys($orig_user);
-
-            if (!$result) {
-                common_log_db_error($cur, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-                // TRANS: Server error displayed when confirming an e-mail address or IM address fails.
-                $this->serverError(_('Could not update user.'));
-            }
+            // Throws exception on failure.
+            $cur->updateWithKeys($orig_user);
 
             if ($type == 'email') {
                 $cur->emailChanged();
diff --git a/actions/emailsettings.php b/actions/emailsettings.php
index 483131c779..0c2033d821 100644
--- a/actions/emailsettings.php
+++ b/actions/emailsettings.php
@@ -478,20 +478,12 @@ class EmailsettingsAction extends SettingsAction
             return;
         }
 
-        $user->query('BEGIN');
-
         $original = clone($user);
 
         $user->email = null;
 
-        $result = $user->updateWithKeys($original);
-
-        if (!$result) {
-            common_log_db_error($user, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-            // TRANS: Server error thrown on database error removing a registered e-mail address.
-            $this->serverError(_('Could not update user.'));
-        }
-        $user->query('COMMIT');
+        // Throws exception on failure. Also performs it within a transaction.
+        $user->updateWithKeys($original);
 
         // TRANS: Message given after successfully removing a registered e-mail address.
         $this->showForm(_('The email address was removed.'), true);
@@ -517,11 +509,8 @@ class EmailsettingsAction extends SettingsAction
         $user->incomingemail = null;
         $user->emailpost = 0;
 
-        if (!$user->updateWithKeys($orig)) {
-            common_log_db_error($user, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-            // TRANS: Server error thrown on database error removing incoming e-mail address.
-            $this->serverError(_('Could not update user record.'));
-        }
+        // Throws exception on failure. Also performs it within a transaction.
+        $user->updateWithKeys($orig);
 
         // TRANS: Message given after successfully removing an incoming e-mail address.
         $this->showForm(_('Incoming email address removed.'), true);
@@ -541,11 +530,8 @@ class EmailsettingsAction extends SettingsAction
         $user->incomingemail = mail_new_incoming_address();
         $user->emailpost = 1;
 
-        if (!$user->updateWithKeys($orig)) {
-            common_log_db_error($user, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-            // TRANS: Server error thrown on database error adding incoming e-mail address.
-            $this->serverError(_('Could not update user record.'));
-        }
+        // Throws exception on failure. Also performs it within a transaction.
+        $user->updateWithKeys($orig);
 
         // TRANS: Message given after successfully adding an incoming e-mail address.
         $this->showForm(_('New incoming email address added.'), true);
diff --git a/actions/recoverpassword.php b/actions/recoverpassword.php
index 46df772b73..4839a036c0 100644
--- a/actions/recoverpassword.php
+++ b/actions/recoverpassword.php
@@ -105,12 +105,8 @@ class RecoverpasswordAction extends Action
         if (!$user->email) {
             $orig = clone($user);
             $user->email = $email;
-            $result = $user->updateWithKeys($orig);
-            if (!$result) {
-                common_log_db_error($user, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-                // TRANS: Server error displayed when updating a user's e-mail address in the database fails while recovering a password.
-                $this->serverError(_('Could not update user with confirmed email address.'));
-            }
+            // Throws exception on failure.
+            $user->updateWithKeys($orig);
         }
 
         // Success!
diff --git a/actions/smssettings.php b/actions/smssettings.php
index ec2fcfd89e..ec8841281d 100644
--- a/actions/smssettings.php
+++ b/actions/smssettings.php
@@ -436,21 +436,14 @@ class SmssettingsAction extends SettingsAction
             return;
         }
 
-        $user->query('BEGIN');
-
         $original = clone($user);
 
         $user->sms      = null;
         $user->carrier  = null;
         $user->smsemail = null;
 
-        $result = $user->updateWithKeys($original);
-        if (!$result) {
-            common_log_db_error($user, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-            // TRANS: Server error thrown on database error removing a registered SMS phone number.
-            $this->serverError(_('Could not update user.'));
-        }
-        $user->query('COMMIT');
+        // Throws exception on failure. Also performs it within a transaction.
+        $user->updateWithKeys($original);
 
         // TRANS: Message given after successfully removing a registered SMS phone number.
         $this->showForm(_('The SMS phone number was removed.'), true);
@@ -556,11 +549,8 @@ class SmssettingsAction extends SettingsAction
 
         $user->incomingemail = null;
 
-        if (!$user->updateWithKeys($orig)) {
-            common_log_db_error($user, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-            // TRANS: Server error displayed when the user could not be updated in SMS settings.
-            $this->serverError(_('Could not update user record.'));
-        }
+        // Throws exception on failure. Also performs it within a transaction.
+        $user->updateWithKeys($orig);
 
         // TRANS: Confirmation text after updating SMS settings.
         $this->showForm(_('Incoming email address removed.'), true);
@@ -581,11 +571,8 @@ class SmssettingsAction extends SettingsAction
 
         $user->incomingemail = mail_new_incoming_address();
 
-        if (!$user->updateWithKeys($orig)) {
-            common_log_db_error($user, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-            // TRANS: Server error displayed when the user could not be updated in SMS settings.
-            $this->serverError(_('Could not update user record.'));
-        }
+        // Throws exception on failure. Also performs it within a transaction.
+        $user->updateWithKeys($orig);
 
         // TRANS: Confirmation text after updating SMS settings.
         $this->showForm(_('New incoming email address added.'), true);
diff --git a/classes/Managed_DataObject.php b/classes/Managed_DataObject.php
index cc088249db..a221f96633 100644
--- a/classes/Managed_DataObject.php
+++ b/classes/Managed_DataObject.php
@@ -339,7 +339,13 @@ abstract class Managed_DataObject extends Memcached_DataObject
             }
         }
         if (count($parts) == 0) {
-            // No changes, unless made in the ->update call
+            // No changes to keys, it's safe to run ->update(...)
+            if ($this->update($orig) === false) {
+                common_log_db_error($this, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
+                // rollback as something bad occurred
+                $this->query('ROLLBACK');
+                throw new ServerException("Could not UPDATE non-keys for {$this->__table}");
+            }
             return true;
         }
         $toupdate = implode(', ', $parts);
@@ -357,6 +363,8 @@ abstract class Managed_DataObject extends Memcached_DataObject
         }
 
         // Update non-keys too, if the previous endeavour worked.
+        // The ->update call uses "$this" values for keys, that's why we can't do this until
+        // the keys are updated (because they might differ from $orig and update the wrong entries).
         if ($this->update($orig) === false) {
             common_log_db_error($this, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
             // rollback as something bad occurred
diff --git a/classes/Profile.php b/classes/Profile.php
index ea99244e31..12672d2157 100644
--- a/classes/Profile.php
+++ b/classes/Profile.php
@@ -838,12 +838,8 @@ class Profile extends Managed_DataObject
                 common_debug("Updating User ({$this->id}) nickname from {$dataObject->nickname} to {$this->nickname}");
                 $origuser = clone($local);
                 $local->nickname = $this->nickname;
-                $result = $local->updateWithKeys($origuser);
-                if ($result === false) {
-                    common_log_db_error($local, 'UPDATE', __FILE__);
-                    // TRANS: Server error thrown when user profile settings could not be updated.
-                    throw new ServerException(_('Could not update user nickname.'));
-                }
+                // updateWithKeys throws exception on failure.
+                $local->updateWithKeys($origuser);
 
                 // Clear the site owner, in case nickname changed
                 if ($local->hasRole(Profile_role::OWNER)) {
diff --git a/plugins/Oembed/OembedPlugin.php b/plugins/Oembed/OembedPlugin.php
index c5343c7b4f..29c6f08dd2 100644
--- a/plugins/Oembed/OembedPlugin.php
+++ b/plugins/Oembed/OembedPlugin.php
@@ -288,10 +288,8 @@ class OembedPlugin extends Plugin
         $thumbnail->filename = $filename;
         $thumbnail->width = $info[0];    // array indexes documented on php.net:
         $thumbnail->height = $info[1];   // https://php.net/manual/en/function.getimagesize.php
-        if (!$thumbnail->update($orig)) {
-            unlink($fullpath);  // delete the file if database failed to write
-            throw new ServerException(_('Failed to update remotely downloaded file info in database.'));
-        }
+        // Throws exception on failure.
+        $thumbnail->updateWithKeys($orig);
     }
 
     public function onPluginVersion(array &$versions)
diff --git a/plugins/RequireValidatedEmail/actions/confirmfirstemail.php b/plugins/RequireValidatedEmail/actions/confirmfirstemail.php
index 465814342d..cc4b646f6b 100644
--- a/plugins/RequireValidatedEmail/actions/confirmfirstemail.php
+++ b/plugins/RequireValidatedEmail/actions/confirmfirstemail.php
@@ -150,6 +150,7 @@ class ConfirmfirstemailAction extends Action
 
         $this->user->email = $this->confirm->address;
 
+        // Throws exception on failure.
         $this->user->updateWithKeys($orig);
 
         $this->user->emailChanged();
diff --git a/scripts/clear_jabber.php b/scripts/clear_jabber.php
index 4a7de8a3d9..4ba24c275a 100755
--- a/scripts/clear_jabber.php
+++ b/scripts/clear_jabber.php
@@ -75,7 +75,11 @@ function clear_jabber($id)
         } else {
             $original = clone($user);
             $user->jabber = null;
-            $result = $user->updateWithKeys($original);
+            try {
+                $user->updateWithKeys($original);
+            } catch (Exception $e) {
+                echo "WARNING: user update failed (setting jabber to null): ".$e->getMessage()."\n";
+            }
         }
         echo "\n";
     } else if (!$user) {
diff --git a/scripts/registeruser.php b/scripts/registeruser.php
index cc0bd5598d..97caf645cd 100644
--- a/scripts/registeruser.php
+++ b/scripts/registeruser.php
@@ -69,10 +69,8 @@ try {
 
         $user->email = $email;
 
-        if (!$user->updateWithKeys($orig)) {
-            print "Failed!\n";
-            throw new Exception("Can't update email address.");
-        }
+        // Throws exception on failure.
+        $user->updateWithKeys($orig);
     }
 
 } catch (Exception $e) {