diff --git a/scripts/createsim.php b/scripts/createsim.php
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..eb97a624db
--- /dev/null
+++ b/scripts/createsim.php
@@ -0,0 +1,142 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env php
+<?php
+/*
+ * Laconica - a distributed open-source microblogging tool
+ * Copyright (C) 2008, 2009, Control Yourself, Inc.
+ *
+ * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
+ * it under the terms of the GNU Affero General Public License as published by
+ * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
+ * (at your option) any later version.
+ *
+ * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
+ * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
+ * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.  See the
+ * GNU Affero General Public License for more details.
+ *
+ * You should have received a copy of the GNU Affero General Public License
+ * along with this program.  If not, see <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>.
+ */
+
+define('INSTALLDIR', realpath(dirname(__FILE__) . '/..'));
+
+$shortoptions = 'u:n:b:t:x:';
+$longoptions = array('users=', 'notices=', 'subscriptions=', 'tags=', 'prefix=');
+
+$helptext = <<<END_OF_CREATESIM_HELP
+Creates a lot of test users and notices to (loosely) simulate a real server.
+
+    -u --users         Number of users (default 100)
+    -n --notices       Average notices per user (default 100)
+    -b --subscriptions Average subscriptions per user (default no. users/20)
+    -t --tags          Number of distinct hash tags (default 10000)
+    -x --prefix        User name prefix (default 'testuser')
+
+END_OF_CREATESIM_HELP;
+
+require_once INSTALLDIR.'/scripts/commandline.inc';
+
+// XXX: make these command-line options
+
+function newUser($i)
+{
+    global $userprefix;
+    User::register(array('nickname' => sprintf('%s%d', $userprefix, $i),
+                         'password' => sprintf('password%d', $i),
+                         'fullname' => sprintf('Test User %d', $i)));
+}
+
+function newNotice($i, $tagmax)
+{
+    global $userprefix;
+
+    $n = rand(0, $i - 1);
+    $user = User::staticGet('nickname', sprintf('%s%d', $userprefix, $n));
+
+    $is_reply = rand(0, 4);
+
+    $content = 'Test notice content';
+
+    if ($is_reply == 0) {
+        $n = rand(0, $i - 1);
+        $content = "@$userprefix$n " . $content;
+    }
+
+    $has_hash = rand(0, 2);
+
+    if ($has_hash == 0) {
+        $hashcount = rand(0, 2);
+        for ($j = 0; $j < $hashcount; $j++) {
+            $h = rand(0, $tagmax);
+            $content .= " #tag{$h}";
+        }
+    }
+
+    $notice = Notice::saveNew($user->id, $content, 'system');
+}
+
+function newSub($i)
+{
+    global $userprefix;
+    $f = rand(0, $i - 1);
+
+    $fromnick = sprintf('%s%d', $userprefix, $f);
+
+    $from = User::staticGet('nickname', $fromnick);
+
+    if (empty($from)) {
+        throw new Exception("Can't find user '$fromnick'.");
+    }
+
+    $t = rand(0, $i - 1);
+
+    if ($t == $f) {
+        $t++;
+        if ($t > $i - 1) {
+            $t = 0;
+        }
+    }
+
+    $tunic = sprintf('%s%d', $userprefix, $t);
+
+    $to = User::staticGet('nickname', $tunic);
+
+    if (empty($from)) {
+        throw new Exception("Can't find user '$tunic'.");
+    }
+
+    subs_subscribe_to($from, $to);
+}
+
+function main($usercount, $noticeavg, $subsavg, $tagmax)
+{
+    $n = 1;
+
+    newUser(0);
+
+    // # registrations + # notices + # subs
+
+    $events = $usercount + ($usercount * ($noticeavg + $subsavg));
+
+    for ($i = 0; $i < $events; $i++)
+    {
+        $e = rand(0, 1 + $noticeavg + $subsavg);
+
+        if ($e == 0) {
+            newUser($n);
+            $n++;
+        } else if ($e < $noticeavg + 1) {
+            newNotice($n, $tagmax);
+        } else {
+            newSub($n);
+        }
+    }
+}
+
+$usercount  = (have_option('u', 'users')) ? get_option_value('u', 'users') : 100;
+$noticeavg  = (have_option('n', 'notices')) ? get_option_value('n', 'notices') : 100;
+$subsavg    = (have_option('b', 'subscriptions')) ? get_option_value('b', 'subscriptions') : min($usercount/20, 10);
+$tagmax     = (have_option('t', 'tags')) ? get_option_value('t', 'tags') : 10000;
+$userprefix = (have_option('x', 'prefix')) ? get_option_value('x', 'prefix') : 'testuser';
+
+main($usercount, $noticeavg, $subsavg, $tagmax);